This post would have been written very differently if I had written it just last night. The past three days or so have been a world wind for me. I have been broken down more than I thought that I could have been and have cried more tears than what I thought were possible.
I have realized that I have lost a very dear friendship to me and this has been a big part of my struggle and it has really broken my heart. I believe this person knows who they are so if you are to come across this post, I say to you from the deepest part of my heart, I'm so very deeply sorry, I've done wrong. I was wrong will you forgive me? I still love and really care about you! I'm praying for you!!!
Another thing that really hit me last night as I was at my breaking point was I came across this quote "whatever I cant live without is most likely what I need to let go" this really struck me. Is there something in my life that would make my life crash around me if it was taken from me? This really made me think and convicted me on somethings. So I ask you to take a moment and think about this.
On to the reference to the title of this post, as I mentioned before the last couple days I have become for broken than I even realized. However, last night I was taught a very dear lesson. I was broken and just called out to the Lord and said that I wasn't getting up off this floor until I knew He was in this situation and that I heard from Him. In His great mercy and love the Lord really shed some light on the struggles that I'm going through and reassured me that He is here and in this with me right by my side. I wish there were more words that could express this feeling of know that He is always by your side, no matter what. Another thing that he revealed to me is that I can't fix things or people, He is in control of that and I have to stop trying to take the wheel and control things.
Through the Word God gave me some gems to cling to and so I thought I would share them with you.
"My eyes strain to see your rescue, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled. I am your servant; deal with me in unfailing love, and teach me your decrees." Psalm 119:123-124
"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:6-7
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion;therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24
"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
These verses really hit me and brought me to my knees. Our God is so faithful even when we are not. His timing is perfect. I know I still have a lot of growing that I need to do and there are going to be a lot of more trials but I'm taking steps forward and keeping my eyes fixed above. Keeping my hope in the one who is always true and not in circumstances or things of this world. A saying I got from a friend a long time ago that has always really stuck with me "It's Your will,not mine".
Keep running the race with endurance...with eyes fixed above.
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