Christmas

Merry Christmas!!!!!

This year Christmas was very different for me but still really good. This year I got stranded in Ames due to the massive winter blizzard that dropped twenty inches of snow up in Minnesota, so I wasn't able to get home for Christmas. At first I was really disappointed that I couldn't be home for Christmas but God really has blessed my Christmas here in Ames. I went to the wonderful Christmas eve service at Stonebrook last night which was awesome! Then afterwards a group of us went to see the movie the blind side...it's such a good movie!!!!

Then today I have been able to just relax and for me this is so nice, to be able to slow down for a bit and just really be able to reflect on what has been going on in my life and also to really just rejoice and reflect on the fact that a couple thousand years ago that God became flesh and came into this world in order to save us. I hope that you all have had a very blessed Christmas and have been reminded what the true meaning of Christmas is!!

Also I watched the nativity story today...I would recommend it to everyone. It's such a powerful depiction of the birth of Jesus!!

So I leave you with a song called "I celebrate the day" by Reliant K, I love this song and its a great testament to what today is all about.

Some nuggets of truth

The following verses are some gems that have really stuck with me and have encouraged and comforted me the past couple weeks or so and I just wanted to share them with you.


"Do NOT be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."- Philippians 4:6-7

"you will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you"-Isaiah 26:3

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted but and enemy multiplies kisses."- Proverbs 27:6

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still"-Exodus 14:13-14

" Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves"-Philippians 2:3

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him" -1 John 4:16b

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" -1 John 4:18a

"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." -Romans 4:20-21

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."- James 1:2-4

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."- Psalm 73:26

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." - Lamentations 3:22-24

Another gem I received a couple weeks ago out of the book David: 90 days with a heart like his was a quote from Beth Moore..."Sometimes we stand to learn the most about God from the situations we understand the least." This was a real comfort to me considering the big trial in my life that I'm going through, and have no real understanding to why so this was a huge comfort to me.

Spring Break

So I thought I would update you all on something I have really been praying about and that was going on a missions trip this spring break or going to study in Mexico for a couple weeks. Ultimately with a lot of prayer,counsel and the direction of the LORD, I have decided to go with Stonebrook and go on the mission trip to El Salvador this spring.

I'm really excited!!

Oneness

So this morning at church was Tim's farewell message and although it was extremely long, I got something very critical out of it. One of his main points was on the core value that stonebrook has of oneness (aka. Love and Unity) I recommend that you listen to this part of the message. One thing that really hit me from his message is to be thankful to God for the people who have hurt you. One way to look at it is that even though these people have hurt you God has used it for good to help you grow and mature in Christ, so its going to hinder your walk when you aren't thanking God for these people in your life. Just something to think about that really struck me this morning.

On another note I got this devotional in a email this morning and it really touched me and encouraged me.


Sunday, December 13, 2009
Restore broken relationships this Christmas
by Rick Warren

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you ... agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. (Philip. 2:1-2, Msg)

God sent Jesus into the world so that our relationship with God could be restored. Christmas is about restoring relationships and many of us have relationships that need mending.

God wants us to value relationships and make every effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt or a conflict.

In fact, the Bible tells us that God has given us the ministry of restoring relationships. For this reason a significant amount of the New Testament is devoted to teaching us how to get along with one another.

The Apostle Paul taught that our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity. Since Christ wants his family to be known for our love for each other, broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers. This is why Paul was so embarrassed that the members of the church in Corinth were splitting into warring factions and even taking each other to court.

He wrote, "Shame on you! Surely there is at least one wise person in your fellowship who can settle a dispute between fellow Christians." (1 Cor. 6:5, TEV) He was shocked that no one in the church was mature enough to resolve the conflict peaceably. In the same letter, he said, "I'll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other." (1 Cor. 1:10, Msg)

If you want God's blessing on your life and you want to be known as a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker. Jesus said, "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." (Matt. 5:9, NLT)

Notice Jesus didn't say, "Blessed are the peace lovers," because everyone loves peace. Neither did he say, "Blessed are the peaceable," who are never disturbed by anything. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who work for peace" - those who actively seek to resolve conflict.

This Christmas is a good time to actively work toward restoring broken relationships.

Perfect Timing

This post would have been written very differently if I had written it just last night. The past three days or so have been a world wind for me. I have been broken down more than I thought that I could have been and have cried more tears than what I thought were possible.

I have realized that I have lost a very dear friendship to me and this has been a big part of my struggle and it has really broken my heart. I believe this person knows who they are so if you are to come across this post, I say to you from the deepest part of my heart, I'm so very deeply sorry, I've done wrong. I was wrong will you forgive me? I still love and really care about you! I'm praying for you!!!

Another thing that really hit me last night as I was at my breaking point was I came across this quote "whatever I cant live without is most likely what I need to let go" this really struck me. Is there something in my life that would make my life crash around me if it was taken from me? This really made me think and convicted me on somethings. So I ask you to take a moment and think about this.

On to the reference to the title of this post, as I mentioned before the last couple days I have become for broken than I even realized. However, last night I was taught a very dear lesson. I was broken and just called out to the Lord and said that I wasn't getting up off this floor until I knew He was in this situation and that I heard from Him. In His great mercy and love the Lord really shed some light on the struggles that I'm going through and reassured me that He is here and in this with me right by my side. I wish there were more words that could express this feeling of know that He is always by your side, no matter what. Another thing that he revealed to me is that I can't fix things or people, He is in control of that and I have to stop trying to take the wheel and control things.

Through the Word God gave me some gems to cling to and so I thought I would share them with you.

"My eyes strain to see your rescue, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled. I am your servant; deal with me in unfailing love, and teach me your decrees." Psalm 119:123-124

"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion;therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

These verses really hit me and brought me to my knees. Our God is so faithful even when we are not. His timing is perfect. I know I still have a lot of growing that I need to do and there are going to be a lot of more trials but I'm taking steps forward and keeping my eyes fixed above. Keeping my hope in the one who is always true and not in circumstances or things of this world. A saying I got from a friend a long time ago that has always really stuck with me "It's Your will,not mine".

Keep running the race with endurance...with eyes fixed above.

Something to think about

This was something I came across today and it really just got me thinking and I challenge you to just take a moment and think about it.


"What happened to you this week? Did you have a good week or a bad week? Did it seem like the events in your life were spinning out of control? In order for us to have deep-seated joy, we must realize that God is in control of every area of our lives.In life, things happen to us that we don't like and haven't planned. We can become frightened or angry when things happen that are out of our control. How we respond to these things will determine the state of our heart. Joy can only come as we rest in the sovereignty of God.Paul understood this well. His life was given to presenting the Gospel, discipling believers and planting churches. He effectively did these things all over the world. In the process of doing these things, many opposed him.Writing from prison in Rome, Paul was confident in the Sovereignty of God. If he had his choice in the matter, Paul would much rather have been free and spreading the gospel than being chained up as a prisoner. But in telling the Philippians to rejoice, Paul tells them that his circumstances have turned out to advance the gospel into a sphere that he would never have dreamed of (verses 1:12-14). God used a situation that He didn't like and couldn't control to advance the Gospel.When you understand that God is in control of "what happens to you," it enables you to rejoice in adverse circumstances. Joy is that deep settled confidence that God is in control in every area of my life."~ Oswald Chambers

I've realized this past weekend more and more how broken I really am...good thing God is in control. On another note I watched the movie saving sarah cain yesterday and that movie makes me cry everytime...one of the quotes that really hits deep for me, mostly because this quote describes me at times "The sad thing is, you are surrounded by people who love you, and you don't even see it." its just something to think about that really hits me.

Dreaming of someday going there....

This song really just hit me this past hour/ hour and a half.


Face pressed up against the glass
Wondering how the birds take flight
& where the sun will go at night
Face pressed up against the glass
Making small circles of breath
& counting all the pieces left

Dreaming of somewhere far away
Where things get born and never feel lonely
Dreaming of one day going there, 'cause here
You gotta keep too many things inside
You gotta keep too many things inside

Breathing in shallow breaths
Feeling gentle heartbeats
& crawling underneath the sheets
Summertime, still light outside
Can't seem to penetrate
All the dark that's wanting to escape
What are those birds called
That cannot live in captivity?
Something wanting to stay alive
So she's keeping all those things inside

~Leah by Kim McMechan

Just a thought

Today was one of those days that I truly realize how I have messed up things and hurt people. It truly breaks my heart that I have done this and truly and deeply hurt those who I deeply care about. It has been through my actions/non-actions and my words that have hurt so very deeply. I know that I have also recived hurt from people's words and actions/non-actions. On a day like this, I'm reminded so much of God's grace and mercy. He forgives us and gives us grace even though we don't deserve it. It was also just a good reminder to me today, that He does truly love us, even when we mess up everything. So why do we do these things to hurt the people we care about? Thoughts?

Don't Fear Deeper Friendships

I have been struggling a lot with Friendships and relationships with people, especially establishing those deep relationships that go beyond the surfacy stuff. I tend to not trust people and their motives because of somethings that have happened in my past. However, I came across this devotional that one of my very dear friends forwarded to me a few months ago and it really encouraged me today.

Don't Fear Deeper Friendships
by Rick Warren

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV).


When we're full of fear and anxiety, we don't get close to each other. We back off from each other. We're afraid of being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. All of these fears cause us to disconnect in life.

This fear is as old as humanity. When Adam and Eve sinned, and God came looking for them, Adam said, "I was afraid . . . so I hid" (Genesis 3:10 NIV). People have been doing that ever since. We're afraid, so we hide. We hide our true selves.

We don't let people know what we're really like. We don't let them see the inside of us. Why? Because if we let people know what we're like and they don't like it, we're up a creek without a paddle. Tough luck. Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? Because if I tell you who I am, and you don't like me, I'm in for it. I have no alternative. So we wear masks and we pretend.

Fear does three terrible things to relationships:

1. Fear makes us defensive. We're afraid to reveal ourselves. We defend ourselves. When people point out our weaknesses, we retaliate and defend ourselves.

2. Fear keeps us distant. We don't let people get close to us. We want to withdraw, pull back. We want to hide our emotions. We don't want to be open and honest. We become defensive and distant.

3. Fear makes us demanding. Whenever we're insecure, and the more insecure we are, the more we try to control. So we try to have the last word in a relationship. We try to dominate, control. It's always a symptom of fear and insecurity.

Where do you get the confidence, the courage, to take the first step in connecting with someone, to go into a deeper intimacy? Where do you get that courage?

You get it from God's Spirit in your life. Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For the Holy Spirit, God's gift, does not want you to be afraid of people but to be wise and strong (courageous), and to love them and enjoy being with them" (LB).

How do you know when you're filled with God's Spirit? You're more courageous in your relationships. You love people. You enjoy being with them. You're not afraid of them because God's Spirit is in your life. The Bible says "God is love," and "Love casts out all fear." The more of God you have in your life, the less of fear you're going to have in your life.

So the starting point in connecting with anybody is to pause, pray, and say, "God, give me the courage to take the first step." You need to do that now with a person you want to connect with.

This is for Alexa :)

So I discovered this song at the end of July and I'm absoultely in love with it. This is also the official jam out song for Alexa and I.

A little wake up call

Today was one of those days where I got a a little wake up call from the Lord that was much needed. He kicked my butt today and really convicted me on somethings, especially in trying to grow in relationships with people.

First this morning I read a passage from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and it kicked my butt. It was about how I am not my own and that I was bought at a price. The big thing that hit me was he was talking about heart break and how God has to break our hearts to lead to His purposes. This quote from the passage really struck me " If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?" I'd encourage you just take a moment and think about this. This was something that really hit me this morning and convicted me about how I have been reacting to how my heart has been broken lately.

Then Brad's message this morning at church on growing richer in relationships really hit me and hit right on a area where I am struggling in right and have struggled with for a while and that is relationships. He talked about how its not good to be a so called "one man band" in the Christian life, we need to be in relationship with one another and not isolate ourselves from others. He gave four reasons why people tend to not want to be in fellowship with others and they were being busy, efficiency and productivity, pain and selfishness. This really convicted me because I have used all these excuses (especially being busy and pain) at one point to not be in fellowship. This message really convicted me on the fact that I need to be in fellowship and that I can't keep isolating myself. I would really encourage you to listen to the message, you can download it from stonebrooke's website.

Safe

I found this song today and it just really spoke to me...hope you enjoy it.

Quick update

It's been so long...I don't really know where to start. These past couple months have been a huge roller coaster for me.


*I'm going back to school at DMACC currently.
*I'm finally taking Spanish again (I had forgotten how much I love that language)
*I'm still working at the clinic (at least for a little while longer I have a job there).
*I've gotten sick more than ever before in my life.
*I have been broken down into pieces the past month or so and now letting my Creator slowly put me back together.
*I have watched a lot of classic movies lately...they are so good. I watched little women for the first time in a long time a week ago (yep made me cry).
*I'm becoming more and more obsessed with music...especially movie soundtrack songs.
*I still absolutely love tenth avenue north...their music speaks SO much truth.

I discovered this song a couple weeks ago...its from tenth avenue north's old album and it is absolutely amazing.

I'm back

It has been a long time but I have decided to start blogging again :)